What is the smartest tree?
I ask because my seafaring 6th Level Cleric relies very heavily on the speak with __________ line of spells in his search for his particular White Whale. Previous attempts to speak with kelp elicited the valuable information that “sunlight is delicious” and “seawater is salty,” but shockingly little actionable intelligence about gold.
So naturally the most sensible course of action is to cruise around the local region, planting trees on a bunch of islands, so that when I speak with plants I’ll have a spy network . . . of trees.
But I don’t want to deal with moron trees who don’t understand the value of money, or uppity treants who will lose their shit when they see me sailing on a boat made out of their friends. I guess talking to Dryads would be cool, but I think they would get mad really easily too. Among trees that are not also monsters, my guess is Christmas trees, because they spend time around humans long enough to become knowledgable about our culture, and also, they probably think all those presents are tribute to them, which then gets stolen by vile human implings, so they’re always looking out for more loot. But I’m, um, going out on a limb on that one. (Sorry.)
Perhaps our braintrust (the two people who read this blog) can solve this riddle? At first glance it sounds preposterous, but I bet this happens in every D&D game where somebody can cast this spell.