Confession: I’ve spent a decent amount of time playing Dungeons & Dragons, but I’ve never fought a dragon. Or a beholder. Or mind flayer. Basically, if you look at a list of the fall-down-awesome D&D monsters, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered them.
Quiz time! How many of these things have you encountered? And, if you did, what happened?
- Black Pudding
- Demons (any – though my party met a Type V one time when I missed a session)
- Devils (any)
- Lich (though my party met one when I wasn’t around)
- Mind Flayer
- Purple Worm
- Rust Monster
- Umber Hulk
- Yellow Musk Creeper
It’s a shameful, disgraceful list! I’ve fought like a zillion freakin’ goblins, gnolls, stirges, and a gelatinous cube once or twice. But I’ve never fought any of those. Where the hell are the Mind Flayers?!
Part of the problem is that all these really great monsters are hiding out toward the end-game as juicy rewards to people who have put in the time, and I’ve never gotten past Level 7. But dang it, Beholders are totally fucking beast! Just throw one at us! Make us run away! Even if I get killed, I can die happy knowing that it was one of the greatest monsters in the history of RPG’s that killed me! (Notice that a huge percentage of these things have crazy-ass ways to kill you, just like a James Bond villain is defined by his goofy weapon.)
I’m really hoping that, as Tavis’s campaign heads off into the Outer Planes and into the Underdark beneath Thracia, that we start encountering some of these guys.
Tavis, Eric – hook a brother up with a grisly, trademark-related death!
And the rest of you – are these critters awesome to play against, or am I building them up too much by ogling the Monster Manual? What were they like in play?