Zolobachai’s Omnipotent Laxative

Arnold Littleworth, known far and wide as “Zolobachai of the Nine Visions,” has spent his time in the Nameless City gathering up spells which might be useful to the party in its explorations. Naturally he names these spells after himself, as the original researchers are doubtless either long-dead, laughably impotent to preserve their intellectual property rights, or surely have no clue of Arnold’s pilfering.

(Spell names drawn from the invaluable Chris Pound Name Generators.)

Zolobachai’s Omnipotent Laxative
Level: Magic-User 2
Range: 60 feet
Duration: 1 day

This spell coats the target with a clingy layer of dust smelling faintly of bananas.  Any creature or item so targeted, if swallowed whole by some other creature, is immediately expelled (avoiding any damage or death resulting from being in the gullet).  This infliction of massive and unexpected intestinal distress forces the swallowing creature to make a Morale Check at a +2 penalty or flee.  This spell lasts for 1 day or until triggered by getting swallowed whole.

(Arnold developed this spell while being held captive by Sorn of Dobar Peak, a white dragon with decidedly little tolerance for mountebanks.  Though Arnold escaped captivity, much of the dragon’s hoard was befouled in the process.)

5 Responses to “Zolobachai’s Omnipotent Laxative”

  1. 1 Spawn of Endra
    December 12, 2010 at 6:28 am


  2. December 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    What if this was a class of substitution spells – as long as you have it in your spellbook, you can lose a memorized second-level spell to cast this one instead? I can’t see a adventurer memorizing this under normal circumstances, although the vision of Arnold researching the spell under extraordinary circumstances is awesome!

  3. December 12, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    I can’t remember the exact fictional circumstances when it seemed like a good idea, but at some point during our excursions in the Caverns of Thracia it looked like we might be facing a critter with a “swallow you whole” attack. This spell was designed as a prophylactic against such an encounter. It so happens that we completed the adventure before I could finish (or even start) researching the spell, but it would have served a real, if admittedly highly specific, purpose.

    To be honest, I really dig the idea of using Spell Research to overcome highly situational challenges in a particular dungeon. The ideal player-researched spell, in my mind, is one that will only ever be cast once – but has an absolutely critical impact when cast.

  4. 4 Scott LeMien
    December 12, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    This spell would actually be too powerful in a Carcosa campaign.

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Past Adventures of the Mule

December 2010

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